I recently read an *article* on a blog regarding mothers who work outside the home in “The West” (insert thunderbolt and lightning here). It was written by a respected female Muslim speaker so I read it before going to bed, unsuspecting just how badly it would annoy me. It was strongly anti-feminist and I have not posted the link because I’m a total wimp. I’m not even sure I would consider it an article, it was more like a strongly opinionated essay.
I am a mother of thirty-month old monster son, and a four-month old meatball daughter. I also work outside my home full-time in the evenings to help support my family. Laboratory Technology is my career choice which happens to be a diverse field and a flexible discipline. This is ideal for a mom. Or a dad. Or anyone, really. It served me very well as a happenin’ single chick who liked to travel and pay her own bills- and it is equally gratifying for me as a wife and mother.
Amongst my child rearing colleagues; I have never known a woman to work full-time and let her children be raised by wolves for the sake of materialism. That “argument” is so stale, and really narrows the scope of whom that type of ideology applies to.
If it was an affordable option, I would love to cut back- my kids are my world; and they deserve the very best from us. I feel that part of the very best includes mama going to work. Part of the very best includes having a father who is equally involved with every aspect of their development. Part of the best includes having health insurance, decent cars that are maintained and safe, educational savings, funds to travel, being able to assist our families if needed and saving for a house of our own (renting/leasing sucks). My husband cannot do this on his own; I think it is a tremendous burden. I should also mention that working makes me feel well-rounded, helpful and saves my sanity at times.
Sure, my house could be a little neater, dinners could be more interesting than one-pot wonders and I’d certainly like not having bags under my eyes or dehydration induced pseudo crows feet, but this is my reality. My family needs me, I need them. I intend to pass my work ethic and drive on to my daughter. I hope she doesn’t have to spread herself too thin, but she must know how to take care of herself and her future family if needed.
Do you work? Do you stay home? Why have you made this decision?
January 11, 2011 at 2:16 am
I think I read that article and it annoyed the hell out of me too.I’m an RN and work part time and go to grad school part time. So with 4 kids, a husband, and a house that’s basically equal to two full time jobs.
I would go crazy if i didn’t have something outside the home. It’s also nice to know that I can support myself independently if need be. i think this is important and empowering to woman.
January 11, 2011 at 11:17 am
I think what turned me off the most is that the author of the article perceives feminism as a battle of the sexes, or ” whatever you can do, I can do better”. The only advice/response I offer when I’m questioned by others about working and having small children is that it requires balance.
Ty for the comment.
January 11, 2011 at 11:19 am
PS will you be a Nurse Practitioner when done? Kudos to you for going back to school. 4 kids. Aye carumba!!!
January 20, 2011 at 11:57 pm
I don’t have kids and I’m far from thinking about having any (well-I do think about them sometimes). I remember having this type of discussion with a friend. I get annoyed too when others judge working mothers. Maybe it’s because I grew up with my mom working and I never saw anything selfish about her wanting to contribute to the family. Plus, I know I want to work as well.
January 22, 2011 at 1:23 am
Rukhpar,
Thanks for stopping by. I won’t lie- I think working part-time is more balanced nut I do think it’s good for me and my family to remain in the workforce at this point in time. My goal is to eventually cut down on my hours as soon as we are able to. I hope your motherhood and career endeavors are successful 🙂